About Me

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I am married to Basilio Ruiz and thank God daily for bringing this wonderful man back into my life. I am a Christian mom of 4 (the youngest 3 are still at home with me) Ashleigh is 22, Amanda is 17, Joshua & Jeremy are 13. I am an independent CTMH consultant and love sharing the art of scrapbooking, cardmaking, and papercrafting with others.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

asking for prayers

Blended families are hard. There is no way around that. I remember years ago when Rex and I split up after almost 20 years together. At that time I had no intention of ever allowing myself to love or trust again. I also remember preparing the kids to receive whoever Rex chose to be his partner in his "new life". Was this easy for me? Not really. But I did it because it was best for my children. I knew their dad would not remain alone and I never wanted them to feel like they had to choose sides or that liking, or even loving, this new person in their Dad's life was somehow a betrayal of me. I remember his first girlfriend after our split being totally shocked that my kids were already ok with her before they even met her and that this was so because I had prepared their hearts to receive her before she was even a part of his life. I remember working hard when they were living together to make sure my children never felt like she and her son were his "new family" even though he lived with them. I talked to them often about their dad's love for them and they felt safe in believing he could love these "additions" to his family without compromising his love for them.

Now I am the "other woman". Not literally because Bass's marriage was over long before we started dating. But apparently even though his ex made it clear by her own actions that she didn't want him anymore she doesn't want anyone else to want him either. She has used anything and everything she can to try to control and manipulate him. She has threatened to take the youngest kids away and has led all of the children to believe that their dad has chosen his "new family" over them. He is strong enough not to allow this to hurt our relationship but it still causes him great pain because he loves his children so much.

And now the main reason for this post and prayer request. Bass's oldest daughter has asked to meet with me to "clear the air". She has questions she wants to ask me and she deserves honest answers to them. However I have not, and will never, speak a word against their mom to them. I have shared some things here and on my facebook that I needed prayer for and recently discovered that his ex stalks both places and reads my posts and so his daughter most likely knows how I feel about her mom's behavior but I still will not say a word against her mom to her. I would never want to interfere in the relationship between mother and daughter. She loves her mom and she SHOULD love her mom. So as I prepare to honor her request I am requesting prayers that God places His hand upon my heart and grant me wisdom to choose my words carefully. I'm not sure how to defend myself against the lies their mom has told without telling the truth but that is what I must do.

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